There are times where I wonder what the objectives are
of people, who do not value the meaning of a committed relationship. The idea
of a committed relationship should consist of a couple to have trust, to have
fidelity, and of course, to have love. However, there are some relationships
that do not subscribe to commitment. Although some people claim to be in
committed relationships, they cannot classify it as such, if there is no commitment.
Recently, I had a conversation with my oldest brother
(technically a half-brother), about how he was doing in his life. My brother is
in a relationship, and has two children with his girlfriend. Although he is
currently unemployed, he is doing fine; while he collects unemployment
benefits, his girlfriend has a career working with law enforcement. However, my brother stated that he feels that
he has the freedom to talk to, date, and even be intimate with other women.
Before my brother “settled down” he claimed to have been with copious amounts
of women, and I have no reason to doubt him. I have met some of his many “girlfriends”
in the past during the holidays. My brother claims that because he is not married,
he should have the freedom to look and “order off the menu”, as in to date
other women. When my brother was a younger man, he dated many women, despite
not having the best car, and living in an less-than-appealing apartment complex;
although having a career as truck driver at the time, my brother was not living
an affluent lifestyle. However, by brother
did have aspirations to have a career in the NBA, and he even played a stint in
a NBA Development league for a few years.
My brother used his athletic talents, along with his confidence, swagger,
and charisma to date many women. In fact, my brother always wished he had the
opportunity to play in the NBA, and if he had gotten his shot (no pun intended),
then he would have had a plethora of women to date.
My brother has his viewpoint of relationships in which I
do not agree with. Whether or not my brother actually goes through and dates
other women is his decision. However, my argument that I made with him and my
main thoughts on this topic is that you should choose to either be in a
committed relationship OR choose to date. The problem with relationships is
that some people feel that they want to have their cake and eat it too such as
my brother. It does not do any justice to hurt the other person by cheating on
them. If a person wants to date other people, then that is fine. If a person is
not happy in their current relationship, then the pragmatic solution is to
either correct the issues in the relationship or to terminate the relationship.
Consequently, the solution to a bad relationship should
not EVER be to cheat, because how can a person go back to the person they
cheated on, and pretend to still want to be in a committed relationship? A committed relationship should be just that:
committed, and this also applies to open relationships. If two people want to
see other people and still date, then that is fine, but it should not be
classified as an open relationship. No matter what the situation is, people
should always be clear what they want, so no one will get hurt in the future.
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