A Relationship Starts with You

A Relationship starts from you

A relationship between a man and a woman is a wonderful bond, as each person develops feelings for each other. However, the process of establishing a relationship is a challenge, and for some, it can be a daunting task. Most people learn that everyone has different qualities that they look for in a partner, as a relationship is established through compatibility.  Once the couple establishes the relationship, the couple must establish trust, freedom, and effective communication.  The couple should not deceive and manipulate one another, the couple should allow each person to have freedom to be themselves, and the couple should always communicate to one another about any particular issue when applicable.

The most important quality that a person should have is confidence. While some people have exuberant confidence, there are some others who have little to no confidence in the dating world. One of the best ways for a person to gain the confidence they lack, or to gain more confidence in themselves starts with having good self-esteem. A person should be proud of one’s looks, personalities, and accomplishments.  A person should also strive to improve one’s livelihood to progress each and every day. No one is perfect and is subject to making many mistakes. However, as long as a person corrects one’s mistakes and learn from them, then a person should continue their progression on one’s journey.  One a person understands that if they improve their self-esteem, then they can eventually gain confidence. In order to acquire greater confidence, a person should take the steps to gain confidence to feel better about exploring the dating scene. Although having great confidence is a challenge, it is a challenge that be overcome, once the person makes a commitment to dedicated themselves to the task.

Research Reveals Divorce Impact Children

In this article Hyun Sik Kim shared his research on the hypothesis that parental marriage affects the development of children. His research involved verbal and nonverbal communication in that most of his data collected was based on interpersonal and intrapersonal premises. In this blog post I will share some of his main points which identifies with the title of this post; Research Reveals Divorce Impact Children. You can feel free to access the actual 30 page research paper on this study. He studied children whose parents stayed married in the course of their lives and children whose parents went through divorce. Hyun Sik Kim is a PhD candidate in the sociology program at University of Wisconsin.       

            He studied the children of divorced parents in three different stages; pre-divorce, divorce and post-divorce. In this three-stage model he examined their social behaviors. Unlike others research on the effects divorce has on children, Kim’s was unique because of his framework of integrating stage-specific effects. During the recording of his data he was able to group certain behaviors do a particular stage or category of the divorce process. These children were in elementary school students. With the children who did not belong to divorced parents, Kim observed their behavior as well. He considered them be normal to the children development process.

            The procedure to Kim’s research analysis was; He followed these children for about eight years, recording consistencies and changes in their school productivity, interpersonal communication and their overall behavior. After including much of surveying and scientific calculations, his final work was model-building strategy which is based on a two piece-wise growth curve model. In the conclusion I will present his finding.                               

            The data Kim collected showed that there were more negative effects on the children who parents split than from those who stayed together. Her finding shared the children were effected in each stage. During the pre-divorce and the in-divorce stage she noticed affected the behavior of the children. This is the stage where children fear of the unknown for what the future holds for them. During the post-divorce their hurt and fear lowered. This data varied from the different age groups that he observed. The older children’s (7-11 years old) development in the entire divorce process were least affected.

            The heart-ache this puts on children costs more than filing the divorce paperwork. Parents today are in an extreme dilemma when it comes to these types of decisions. I understand that, but with every decision we must count the cost as to what consequences may incur from the decision of getting a divorce.  Yes there are some legitimate reasons to get divorce but to those who do it irresponsibly must become awaken to the impact it cause on children and family.

Meeting Her Conditions

 After having a deep conversation with my former brother-in-law, I now have a better understand of women, and what qualities that they look for in men. Thank You Mr. Fluker. One of the things I learned about life is that in order to change something (or anything) in life, the conditions for it to change must be present. In other words, according to Mr. Fluker: "you can't change anything in life, without changing the conditions surrounding it first." This is true in many aspect of your life, such as losing weight to be fit, getting into a university or a graduate program, or for precipitation (or the lack thereof) to fall, or women. Speaking of women, this is what this note is mainly about. Once again, Mr. Fluker informed me on this about women: "you can crack any women in life, if you meet her conditions."  It does not matter what type of women, if a man can meet a woman's or meet women's conditions, then he has the best chance of dating and possible establishing a relationship with her and them respectively. The challenge is to find out exactly what a woman's conditions are, and then to continuously meet those conditions. I learned that although every woman has different conditions, they ALL have similar conditions. This is the breakdown of the four similar conditions that women look for in men:

1. Women like nice things (doesn't have to be too expensive, but as long as a man is well-dressed and put together, whether it is a t-shirt and jeans, to a suit).
2. Women like Security (women want to know that the man (or men) in their life can be a protector and a provider for them, as well as any potential offspring. They want to feel that a man can provide for them mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually (optional), and psychologically).
3. Women like Sex Appeal (women like the man to have this. Dictionary.com defines sex appeal as: immediate appeal or obvious potential to interest or excite others, as by appearance, style, or charm).
4. Women like men with confidence...with a slight swagger or "swag" (this is obvious. Women want to see, feel, taste, smell, and hear the confidence of a man. For some men like myself, this will take some work and practice, but this condition for men is easily attainable). 

Bonus: Women like to know that they like what they see (this simply means that the man wants a woman to know that she likes what she see in him, if he meets the four conditions aforementioned).

One thing that Mr. Fluker stated that really enlightened me on women was this: women spend so much time throughout the day looking good or looking acceptable for society's standards. One would think why would women care about what society thinks how they should appear to the world. The reality is that women do care. A woman cares about how she looks not necessarily because she is trying to impress men, but rather because she is trying to appease other women. Women judge other women's looks profusely. With that being said, a woman spends hours in her day or throughout the day on trying to look her best. When it comes to a man, she may feel that if she is spending time looking her best, then a man should spend time looking his best, albeit a man usually does not spend as much time. Women want men to recognize their beauty; however, if a man looks just as nice, then a woman will also recognize his beauty in their own way.

On a side note: men should create their own space. When they have the confidence and swag, they create their own space and protect their own space. When a man establishes their own space, they create their own aura and then invite women into their space, while still protecting their space from others invading it.

Reasons Marriage Fails

There are many reasons as to why marriages fail. Some reasons are responsible for many other types of relationships as well. Whether that’s business, family, or friendship,  if certain safety measures aren’t implemented, failure is near. There are Ten most common reasons why marriages fail. I would like to discuss a few along with some examples. Boundary issues, selfishesness, disrespectful judgments, anger and intimacy are highly mismanaged in our marriages. 

If boundaries are not in place or present but weak, they will go unnoticed as if your spouse doesn’t exist. Example, emotional conversations with the opposite sex which leads to sexual connections is a no no. Next; being stingy with your time, income, and sexual fulfillment is a no no! Disrespectful judgments knocks at the doors of many of our marriage relationships. Away with fulfilling ill-mannered deeds you wouldn’t permit your spouse to do to you. Anger results in the buildup of unhandled issues which (one or both) spouses involved themselves in physical abuse; which is unlawful There are resources to Save Your Marriage which need to be discovered by those who are in ill or healthy relationships. Now that you know the top "reasons" marriage fail, avoid them.

Resources over Divorces

Eric F. Walker

4 sites

1.      http://www.simonegrant.com/blog/

2.      http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/relationships/blog/

3.      http://www.ehow.com/about_6663026_american-dating-culture.html

4.      http://catholiceducation.org/articles/parenting/pa0022.html

Who produces the site's content? 

1 Individual- Simone Grant

2 Individual - Meredith Goldstein

3 Company- Demand Media, Inc.

4 Individual/Organization – Joshua Harris / Catholic Edu. Resource Center (CERC)

What types of content does the site produce?

1 Original reporting or highlighting, linking to, and commenting on others' work.  Real stories about dating, relationships and sex in New York City. Releasing truth rather than fiction which don’t last.

2 Relatively "neutral" (unbiased) content - relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters

3 News- information recorded and data timeline figures

4 original reporting – own experiences while dating

What’s the producer's their interest in creating this content? 

            1  She just wanted to tell stories that people would enjoy reading.  Real stories  about dating and relationships. Would enlighten and assist those who are dating.

2  Meredith is the author of "The Singles," a new novel about complicated relationships. The content in her blog accompanies her famous book.

3 eHow (the hosting site) is all about creating content that empowers people to see the expert within self.

4 Joshua wanted to show people why dating becomes defective and to introduce a book on dating of his own writings. In all his writing he deter people from dating

How often (roughly) do they publish content? And how often do they specifically publish content about your social issue?

1 blog- a.weekly b.monthly

2  blog- a. Daily b. weekly

3 website- never

4 website- never

Are there comments that accompany the posts/articles/videos? If yes, briefly describe

1 yes there are comments which readers are able to communicate further on the topic with Simone (publisher) and other readers

2 yes, hundreds of them. A range of affirmation, frustration, and agreement in their comments

3 none

4 none

Does the site have a social media presence? (i.e., a Facebook page or Twitter feed)

1 Facebook

2 Facebook & Twitter

3 Facebook

4 Facebook & Twitter