The Meaning of Relationships

The meaning of relationships does not have the same stigma these days. On average, relationships last about five years, and marriages last slightly longer of about 7 years. The reason could be that either people have more options of who to date, people are more technologically savvy in the digital age, or it could be a combination of both. One thing is certain: the meaning of relationships has all but been redefined in our culture.

Relationships have lost value over the past 30 years. What relationships should be based on are trust, compromise, intimacy, and fidelity. Whatever issues that do occur in relationships should be worked out and resolved as soon as possible. Although relationships are not always perfect, an imperfect relationship can function perfectly when the couple invests time to make the relationship work. However, there are people who opt not to invest time in developing a healthy relationship. In other words, many people get into relationships (and get married for that matter), for the wrong reasons (i.e. sex, money, popularity, and pressure from family or friends). Consequently, those relationships do not last for very long. Many people get into relationships to fulfill specific needs at the time. For instance, a man may get into a relationship with a woman not necessarily because he loves the woman, but because a man feels he has the obligation to be with a woman that he’s not necessarily really attracted to. Moreover, a woman also may feel the obligation to date and get into a relationship with a man because she is lonely, she wants some attention, or perhaps, she wants to prevent other women from “stealing” her man, if he’s financially stable. One thing that is common in both instances is that the relationship is not based on the values that identify a healthy relationship. Communication is critical in these situations because if the intent of both persons in the couple is not congruent, then there is a chance that one person could be hurt in the future.

In this present day, the concept of a relationship has become redefined.  Some people subscribe to the idea of a relationship based on being with someone for an extended period of time that doesn’t lead to marriage. Although some relationships do turn into marriages, most of them last about as long as a good t.v. sitcom. The similarity is that when a relationship is over, it is classified as having a “good run” as a sitcom. In other words, when the dust settles and two people want a change, they choose to move on. These types of relationships are more common with younger people who are in their adolescent and early adulthood years. The trend leads to relationships established in high school and in college to last until one or both people in the relationship graduate (especially in high school). In addition, when a couple is young, then there is a strong possibility that one or both persons commit infidelity (aka. “cheating”) in the relationship. Despite the condemnation of infidelity, many people understand that some people just need more options. If that is the case, then it is more convenient to date rather than commit to a relationship that a person might not be ready for.